Ok so posting this time took way longer than I thought but after much delay its finally here my second post,..o and welcome to the new address,..blogspot is just easier to use than the other site (thanks ali 4 the tip).

So I was thinking the other day of at least 4 situations that I happened to be in where either someone was asking me for advise, for help, or that I noticed needed help. Being the superwoman that I am,..it was natural for me to want to run to the closet throw on my cape and start flying all over Europe to help! To my astonishment when I ran to the phone booth to gear up there was no tights or cape there. Instead only a small note that read;"take care of kimbe" <3 mom! I sat down and thought things through and quickly reminded myself of the only new years resolution I had made,.."to take care of myself".

This task is often harder than we perceive, mainly because for some of us the idea of facing our own issues and rescuing ourselves is much harder than taking care of everyone else's issues. My angel once told me the hardest thing for a caregiver to do is to give care to themselves",.. there are also those who get too wrapped up in what we are supposed to do according to standards around us. So out of feelings of obligation, we put on the cape and run around in circles. In these instances we aren't really helping as much as we'd like to give ourselves credit for. We are merely going through the motions. More times than not, our heart isn't where it needs to be to do any good.

Sometimes the best thing that you can do, to help someone else, is to help your self first. This is the driving idea behind the warning of the flight attendants as they tell us " in case of emergency please secure your own oxygen mask before helping your neighbor" the truth is there is no way possible that if the plane goes down and you drown or suffocate that you will be able to help anyone else. Rushing to the rescue of everyone, often puts burdens on those who have been assigned to care take for you.

Taking the time to breath to get to know ourselves to truly spend time on our own issues does more good in this world than any amount of charity given. Once we can learn to take care of ourselves, by default we become happier people, then we are able to build positive and healthy relationships rather than ones where we are too dependent on being able to fix others, as we can finally help others to learn to fly rather than becoming overly dependent on our capes.

Finally, the over all frame around my picture of thoughts is quite simple. All those who were in need of rescuing (at least I thought) are all adults. Adults who had made their own life decisions and who had a mind of their own and are ultimately responsible for their own happiness.It is so easy for us to tell others how to live their lives but we have no clue on how to live our own. More time should be spent trying to understand and work out our own issues. If we teach each other how to fish, no one should starve. I am not advocating that we don't help each other out in times of need. I am not saying that we should stay to ourselves and always mind our own business when it comes to adults,.however what I am saying is people will make their own decisions whether we are there or not and sometimes the best way to help them to do that is to not be there and allow them to trust in their own abilities to take care of themselves.